


heart-shaped

by unrealities



Category: SKAM (Spain)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, mentions of joana's mental illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:27:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21988123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unrealities/pseuds/unrealities
Summary: “She seems like a lot to handle.”“Yeah, but she’s my lot to handle.”Or, the one in which people like to complain about Joana in front of Cris, but she always ends up clapping back.
Relationships: Cris Soto/Joana Bianchi
Comments: 5
Kudos: 145





	heart-shaped

It’s colder than usual, which puts Cris in an inexplicably bad mood.

“Stop looking like that.”

She blinks rapidly, then purses her lips together as she gains awareness of her facial expressions. She realizes she has been grimacing for quite a while, but in her defense, she is waiting outside at a cold park for Joana, who is about ten minutes late.

“You can go now, you know,” she tells Eva, who seems to be just as upset about the weather as she is. “I’m sure she’ll be coming soon.”

“You said that ten minutes ago,” she grumbles, “you know, when she was actually supposed to be here.”

Cris shrugs off Eva’s mood because they’re both feeling unnerved by the strong gust of wind that suddenly decided to blow their way. The trees are bustling as well, shaking leaves down onto them, catching in their hair.

Eva groans, her frustration slowly emerging as she pulls crumpled leaves from her hair and throws them to the ground. They both watch as the leaves unsatisfyingly float to the dirt floor and gracefully land as if they had not just been violently chucked toward the earth.

“She’s always late.”

Cris looks at Eva through her peripheral. Eva continues to pull leaves out of her hair, an ever-growing amount landing in it. She wants to believe that Eva is just in a bad mood, but the comment gets to her. Eva is simply sitting on a park bench, casually complaining about Joana to her as if it’s as natural as breathing. It hurts.

“She’s not,” Cris defends, not only in the name of her girlfriend, but because it’s the truth. “And the times that she has been, you know why.”

Eva frowns for a moment, pausing her motions of dragging leaves from her hair. “You know I didn’t mean it like that.”

“But you still said it,” Cris mumbles. “I don’t mind that she’s a few minutes late. She always has her reasons.”

Eva looks torn, and Cris can tell she desperately wants to say something, but it is most likely something that will upset her.

“What, Eva?” Cris pushes anyways, despite knowing whatever Eva may say will not be something she wants to hear.

“It’s just—” she pauses, her brow furrowing together. “Do you think that’s healthy? You know, always waiting for her when you’re always there for her? I feel like she doesn’t treat you the same way you treat her.”

Cris can see that as soon as the words come out of Eva’s mouth, she immediately regrets them, though for what reason, she isn’t sure.

“That’s not true,” she says immediately, “and I’m surprised that you think that of her, of our relationship. My relationship with Joana is just different. It’s not like what you had with Jorge or what Nora has with Alejandro. I understand where Joana is coming from. We talk about these sort of things, alright? I know that from the outside, it looks different, but Eva, you know Joana, and you know me. But you still think that about us?”

She doesn’t really mean to say this much, but in the end, she couldn’t stop herself. Of course she is used to people judging her and Joana, for more reasons than one, but to hear it from her friend hurts.

She looks at Eva, waiting for a response, but when she doesn’t get one, she decides to say more. “Look, I’m not mad. It’s just that you were there with me when I learned about Joana’s mental illness, and you and the girls helped me through that. I know in the beginning, we both had these ideas about what a mental illness is, but since then, I’ve learned so much more about it and about Joana, too. You know you and the girls would be the first people I would come to if anything was actually wrong, right?”

Eva slaps her face into her palms, then shakes her head vigorously. “God, I’m sorry,” she says, muffled behind her hands. “I was such a dick.” She hits herself lightly on the forehead before looking at Cris. “Of course I know you would tell us if anything was wrong. I’m sorry for thinking that anything was wrong. I’m sorry for thinking of Joana in that way. I know she’s not like that. And I know that she’s been trying, especially with the progress you’ve been telling us about. I’m so fucking sorry, Cris.”

Cris looks at Eva, crumpled in front of her. She knows that Eva didn’t mean any malice by her words, despite how it made her feel, but in the end, she knows it would be unnecessary to hold a grudge against Eva. “Thank you,” she murmurs, then takes a hold of Eva’s wrists and pulls her hands from her face. “Hug it out?”

Eva lets out a startled laugh before wrapping her arms around Cris tightly. “I’m sorry,” she says again, more vehement and desperate than the last.

Cris pulls back from the hug, her hands resting on Eva’s shoulders. “Hey,” she says quietly to get Eva out of her bumbling headspace, “in a way, I’m sort of glad you mentioned it. Just so that I could clear it up with you that nothing’s wrong. Eventually, I would find out that you thought that, you know, because we’re friends?”

Eva smiles, though it’s behind sad eyes. “Yeah, we are,” she agrees wholeheartedly, “and I’m sorry for being a crappy one just a second ago. I’m sorry you had to explain yourself to me, and I’m even more sorry that I made you feel bad about yourself and Joana.”

Cris pulls Eva in for another hug, this time smothering her face into her shoulder. “You’re forgiven,” she says, then drags out a dry leaf from the back of Eva’s head.

Eva lets out a laugh as she pulls back from the embrace, shaking her head to get her hair out of her face.

“Interrupting something?”

Cris and Eva both startle, their grip on each other’s shoulders tightening as they turn their heads and find Joana standing in front of them with an amused expression.

“Joana!” Eva sounds both scared and excited at the same time. She seems torn about what to do or say.

“Sorry, I’m late,” Joana says, seemingly unaware of Eva’s internal turmoil. “I went to get some warm drinks because it’s cold out.” She turns to Eva with a small frown. “I would’ve gotten you something but I didn’t know you would be here.”

Eva’s mouth falls open. She looks at Cris with expressive eyes, silently communicating once again how sorry she is. Then, she turns back to Joana with a smile. “Don’t worry about it. I was only here to keep Cris company for a while. I’m meeting up with someone right now anyways.”

“Oh, alright,” Joana responds, nodding, “I’ll see you later.”

“See you,” Eva mumbles. She turns to Cris with a solemn smile, then nods her head before waving them goodbye.

Joana pulls Cris in by the waist, then nuzzles her cheek into her head. “What were you two up to?”

“We were having a heart-to-heart,” Cris fills in, shrugging. “It’s very important for friendships to be serious and honest with each other.”

“Did you get that from Viri?” Joana asks, suspicious.

Cris laughs, out of amusement but also happiness because Joana has been spending much more time with the girls now, enough to know Viri’s testaments to friendship.

“Yeah, of course I did,” she answers, leaning her head into the crook of Joana’s neck. Then, she looks down at Joana’s hands and decides to place her hands over one of the coffee cups. “You warm.”

“I’m warm because of the coffee,” Joana says. She pretends not to notice when Cris mouths “smart-ass” at her. “I got you coffee because it was cold today.” Then, she extends an arm out at her to give her the cup of coffee.

Cris takes it happily, snuggling the cup in her hands and near her cheeks. “You didn’t have to do that. It wasn’t that cold out.”

Joana looks at her with disbelief, then scoffs. “You hate the cold, you liar.”

“Yeah,” Cris admits, shrugging, “but you’re here to keep me warm.”

“Sap,” Joana murmurs, but locks her arm around Cris’ as they begin their stroll through the park.

_____

“You know, I think I’ve grown out of parties.”

Suddenly, all heads are turned to Cris, each face wide-eyed and exasperated.

They’re in the middle of a party right now, though Cris forgets whose party it is. She and the girls are in a more secluded part of the house, resting from the heavy dancing they had done earlier in the night. The most surprised is Viri, who is gawking at her with shock and disappointment.

“This doesn’t mean you’re out for the parties we’re going to go to for the rest of school, right?” Viri asks, though her tone pretty much demands that she answers the question.

Cris rolls her eyes. “I’ll be at whatever party you girls are at,” she says, which is true, but maybe only so because Viri will break down if she says otherwise, “but only because I like spending time with you. The parties are just sort of growing old.”

“It’s because she’d rather spend time with Joana,” Nora teases, elongating the last vowel in a sing-song voice. 

Eva laughs. “I’m not surprised if that’s the reason why. She and Joana are adorable.”

“Couple goals!” Amira agrees. “I’m actually surprised that she isn’t here.”

“She needs rest,” Cris answers with a shrug. “I told her I’d stay with her but she insisted that I go out for the night. She made me promise that I’ll have at least one night of fun each month.”

Amira suppresses a snort. “That’s only because you insist on being with her every second!”

“Like you said, couple goals!” Eva repeats, then laughs.

“It’s cute,” Nora says, “and sweet. It’s nice that you want to be with her so much.”

The girls all look at Viri, who has been silent for too long.

She throws her hands up in exasperation. “You know I think you and Joana are cute!” she exclaims. “But it’s like you girls didn’t hear what Cris just said! She’s not into parties anymore!”

Nora stifles a giggle and Eva rolls her eyes.

“Viri, she just said that she’ll go to whatever parties that you want her to go to,” Amira reminds, each word more emphatic than the last.

Viri continues to pout, her arms crossed against her chest. “But I don’t want to push her if she doesn’t want to!”

Cris looks at the girls and the girls look back. Thankfully, Nora takes control of the situation and takes Viri’s hands into hers.

“Come on girls, let’s go dance some more,” she says, pulling a reluctant Viri from her seat. “You’re not supposed to wallow at parties, you know.”

Cris watches, her lips pursed together to keep from laughing as Nora practically drags Viri to the dance floor, followed by an amused Eva and Amira. Amira looks back at Cris and tells her to do whatever she wants, though it’s obvious by the look on her face that she knows Cris will stay back. She simply pumps her fist in the air before following Eva out to the dance floor and leaving Cris alone.

Cris looks at her phone, groaning when she sees that it is four in the morning. She thinks she should just go home since she is tired from the party, but she would rather go to Joana’s place, though she knows she is asleep. She feels stuck and falls to the couch once more, resting her head against the back of it as she ponders falling asleep or finding a ride home.

Suddenly, she feels a weight on the seat beside her which startles her from her thoughts. At first, she assumes it is one of the girls, but when she looks to see who took the seat next to her, it is a guy she barely recognizes. She thinks he is from one of her classes, maybe literature, though she is entirely unsure and even furthermore, entirely uninterested.

“Hey,” he says, a drink in hand and a drunken smile on his lips.

Cris looks to her other side in a desperate attempt to convince herself that this guy is not talking to her. Then, she turns back at him and frowns. “I’m gonna go find my friends.”

“Wait a second!” he exclaims, a little loud for the quiet setting they are in. Cris turns around on instinct and groans to herself. “You’re from my literature class, right?”

For a moment, she prides herself on guessing where she recognized the guy from. “Yeah,” she responds, then turns on her heels to walk out of the room.

“I heard that the project you did with that girl was really good,” he calls out, and that immediately catches her attention.

“Yeah, my girlfriend’s pretty smart,” she says with a smile that’s all teeth. “She’s the one who came up with the idea.”

To Cris’ absolute delight, the grin on the guy’s face immediately falls. “Oh, she’s your girlfriend?”

“Yeah, she is.” Her walls are up, ready for whatever this guy has to say about her or Joana.

“She’s the one who missed, like, a bunch of days of school, isn’t she?” He asks this even though he knows the answer, and when Cris doesn’t say anything, he continues. “She seems like a lot to handle.”

She knew she shouldn’t have given this guy her time. She ignores the spark in her chest that tells her to rage at the guy because she knows all too well that it won’t do any good. So she simply smiles at him and says, “Yeah, but she’s my lot to handle.”

Then, she walks out the room, ignoring the distant calls from the guy to wait up for him.

She tries to find the girls in the sea of dancing people, but in the end, she sends them a quick message telling them that she’s going home. When she finally finds the way to the front of the house, she is hit with brisk air and the fresh outdoors. She starts walking, then looks down at her phone, her fingers instinctively going to her chat with Joana.

To: Joana  
From: Cris  
[4:17 AM] I know you’re asleep but I love you

Then, she starts a call with her brother as she finds her way back home.

_____

“Oh shit, we had homework?”

Hugo situates himself between Cris and Amira as he grabs his notebook out of his backpack. When he opens it, Cris and Amira gawk at the lack of work he has done.

He looks at Amira, then his notebook, then Cris. “Oh shit, we had a lot of homework?” He sounds miserable now, which to Cris is entirely hilarious.

He leans toward Cris as he indiscreetly tries to look at her notes. She barks out a laugh before snapping her notebook shut. He gives her a look of complete betrayal before turning to Amira and being immediately struck down as she says, “Don’t even think about.”

“Cris, eat your lunch!” Viri exclaims as she sets down her lunch bag with Nora in tow. They smile at each other momentarily before simultaneously opening their bags together.

“Yeah, yeah, I will,” she promises, then reaches down to her backpack to grab her lunch. 

When she pulls out the contents, her mouth drops a little and her expression instantly becomes unreadable as she tries to process what’s in front of her. Everyone at the table takes notice and looks at her curiously, waiting for an explanation.

She holds up her sandwich which is cut into the shape of a heart. “I spent last night at Joana’s and she made me my lunch today,” she explains, and in the midst of the table aweing at the gesture, she notices a sticky note in the bag as well.

Keep my half safe.

She can hardly contain her smile as she flips the note toward the table for them to see. The words are enough to make the entire table swoon.

“Stop being so adorable!” Viri complains, and she tries to frown but her smile prevails.

“Oh, that reminds me,” Amira says, her smile soft and eyes glued to the note in Cris’ hand, “I was going to ask if Joana was here today or not?”

“No, not today,” Cris answers, and Amira and the girls nod in understanding.

“She’s not here a lot,” Hugo comments, though his focus is on the homework he has no chance of finishing.

The girls snap their heads to Cris, but she shakes her head. “It’s alright,” she mouths, and it is because she knows Hugo doesn’t mean anything by it. She isn’t going to fault him for not knowing about Joana.

But then, he continues with: “I can’t believe she gets to miss out on this homework. It’s kind of not fair.”

This time, the girls ease their way into looking at Cris, their grimaces clearly visible to her despite their best attempts in suppressing them.

“She still has to do the homework,” Cris tells him, her voice uncharacteristically even as she tries not to let her annoyance seep through. “It’s an excused absence anyways.”

“All of her absences are excused?” Hugo asks, this time looking up from his notebook in disbelief.

She lets in a deep breath, telling herself that Hugo doesn’t know the specifics of what Joana is going through as she readies herself to answer him in a tempered manner. “Yes,” she says through gritted teeth.

Amira slaps a hand across her mouth, unable to keep herself from laughing. Then, Nora and Viri join in with light giggles as they watch Cris’ annoyance grow for Hugo. Hugo looks at all of the girls in confusion, then throws his hands up.

“I’m going to the boys because at least they’ll tell me why they’re laughing at me,” he says, though there’s no real hurt in his voice as he stands up and drags his backpack behind him to the other side of the room where the boys are sitting.

Cris turns to the girls and lets out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. “How do you deal with him?” she asks, almost wanting a real answer.

The girls raise their eyebrows at her before answering altogether, “We don’t.”

Cris throws her head back in laughter and the girls all join her. She shakes her head, then takes her attention back to eating her lunch, which reminds her of Joana once more. And she can hear the girls coo at her as she carefully takes a bite of the heart-shaped sandwich, almost wanting to preserve it.

_____

To: Joana  
From: Cris  
[3:15 PM] I’m coming over

To: Cris  
From: Joana  
[3:17 PM] Come quick I miss you

That’s all the answer Cris needs before she tells the girls goodbye and races to Joana’s house. The girls tease her about wanting to see Joana so badly, but she is already too far away from them to respond with anything other than a middle finger. 

Restless and impatient, she pulls her phone out again and dials Joana. It takes only a few rings before she gets an answer.

“Girl, you’re going to see me in less than ten minutes.”

Cris huffs into the phone receiver, then realizes she’s out of breath from the pace at which she is walking. “I miss you,” she says, a little pathetic as she quickens her steps.

“You’re going to see me soon,” Joana repeats, now a little tease in her voice.

“You made me miss you a lot more than usual!” Cris defends. “I can’t believe you left that note in the bag!”

“Did you like the sandwich?” Her voice is far too pleased for Cris’ liking.

“Yes,” she admits, biting back a smile. There’s no use in trying to hide it from Joana anyways. “But it really made me miss you.”

There’s a crackle on the other end of the line followed by a sniffle. “Yeah,” she answers. “I wanted to come with you today.”

Cris smiles softly. “I know,” she murmurs, slowing her pace as she nears Joana’s house. “I’m happy with how you’ve been doing lately.” 

“Thanks,” she mumbles, though Cris can hear the smile through the phone.

“I’m almost there,” Cris announces, passing all the familiar buildings and streets. Before she can even knock on the front door, it swings open to reveal Joana on the other side, dressed as if she is ready to go out. She ends the call and bursts through the door frame, enveloping Joana in a hug. “You’re such a sap. I can’t believe you left that in my bag.”

Joana laughs in her ear as she reciprocates the hug, holding her tightly by the waist. “You have my heart,” she murmurs.

“Sap,” Cris repeats before leaning her cheek against hers and peppering kisses on her skin.

“You’re sweaty,” she notes, but doesn’t seem to mind as she cups her hands against Cris’ cheeks and kisses her gently.

Cris can feel her smile against her lips. “What did you do today?” she asks, pulling back but keeping her arms hung over Joana’s neck.

“Homework,” she says, a miserable smile taking up her lips. “I finished everything for today, though.”

“Good, more time to spend with me,” Cris murmurs, touching her lips to Joana’s once more.

Joana pulls back, her hands holding Cris an annoying distance away. “More time to do homework,” she corrects, then smiles as Cris groans. She lets go of Cris’ waist and Cris lets out a huff at the disconnect. “Come on, I’ll get your stuff for you.”

She reaches for Cris’ shoulders and taps at her backpack straps. Cris relaxes her posture and wiggles the backpack into Joana’s grasp. She makes her way to the living room, collapsing onto the couch in a fit.

“Don’t be dramatic!” Joana yells, still in front of the door looking through Cris’ backpack.

“You’re making me do my homework!” Cris complains, unable to hide her pout. She throws her arm across her face, covering her eyes as she waits for Joana to come in and throw a pile of homework in front of her.

However, it’s very quiet. Cris lets a few more moments pass before she becomes suspicious. Before she can yell out and ask if Joana is okay, she hears her backpack drop to the floor.

“You loser, did you keep half of the sandwich?”

Cris covers her face with the pillow, hiding both her laughter and blush.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm still working on not making them seem so ooc, so sorry if it feels like that! anyways, here's a [rebloggable verison of this fic](https://samedis.tumblr.com/post/189903751340/heart-shaped-pairing-cris-x-joana-words-3800) if you feel like doing so! thanks for reading!


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